hang in there jess. remember for every one jess theres a thousand guys wishing they were in your shoes. ive spent 13 years of my work life in self employment covering 2 stints. the hardest part is getting the start up money. it will happen for you. maintain your priorities so you can enjoy your ride with your family. doors open if you position yourself right. remember this too, it takes a lot of jet fuel to get a rocket into orbit. thats the hardest part of the trip. once your in orbit everthing youve worked for becomes real.